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http://littleredsurvivor.com/2015/12/11/why-gray-rock-beats-paper/

Posted in Uncategorized on May 24, 2016 by amildcaseofdeath
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http://littleredsurvivor.com/2016/05/13/maybe-he-doesnt-hit-you-but-its-still-abuse/

Posted in Uncategorized on May 24, 2016 by amildcaseofdeath

A Prayer for Those Diagnosing the Narcissist

Posted in Uncategorized on November 1, 2014 by amildcaseofdeath

If you want to help someone, you need to help them how they need to be helped, not how you just think they need to be helped. Amen.

Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed

A Prayer A Prayer

Dear Lord/ Allah/ Buddha/Universe/Source,

Please help all the suffering souls out there who have unknowingly let a Narcissist into their hearts and lives.

Also, help the ones who want to escape find a way to do so…

Let them know that regardless of what all the books out there written by MDs, PhDs, LCSWs, and MEds say, there is no way to live or “make it work” with a Narcissist.

Allow people who have become the target of a Narcissist realize that 99% of full-blown Narcissists will NEVER be professionally diagnosed with a personality disorder.

Help the world see that it doesn’t take a professional credential to understand that another person is manipulative, controlling, condescending, cruel, a pathological liar, ruthless, malicious, sadistic, and in some cases, homicidal – whether covertly or outwardly.

Give victims help when they suffer humiliation upon suggesting to their disordered partner that they go with them to…

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Narcissistic Family Dynamics – Playing The Hand We’re Dealt

Posted in Uncategorized on October 21, 2014 by amildcaseofdeath

After Narcissistic Abuse

Hindsight is an amazing tool for survivors.

When you grow up with a narcissistic parent, there are realities about our environment that don’t exist in a non-narcissistic household. These realities are our healing points, our own issues, that as an adult we realize require healing for us to go on to have healthy adult relationships.
playing cards
Parentification:

The narcissistic parent, incapable of meeting a childs needs because they conflict with their own, becomes the recipient of the child’s care and affection. The npd parent flips the roles and demands that the child be the sacrificial, giving caretaker. Of course in hindsight, its easy to see the error in this behavior, but as a young, impressionable child the modeled behavior has an impact on the things we’ll need to unwind and reparent later in life.

What this does is set us up to be the caretakers, the responsible ones, the fixers…

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I need ‘no contact’ with narcisistic people, to protect my healing. And that *is* okay…

Posted in Uncategorized on September 2, 2014 by amildcaseofdeath

Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

 

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I have to have ‘no contact’ with narcissistic/sociopathic traits people.

They trigger me far too much, due to all the severe abuse in the first 20 years of my life from narcissistic/sociopathic abusers/parents.

It isn’t because I hate people who have mental health issues, like narcissism. I don’t hate them. I wish they could be healed.

But, *my healing* is more important, than having to have these types of people in my life.

It was a looooooong time, before I realised, I needed to think this way. I was programmed since birth, to accept these behaviours and not have any needed responses back. I was programmed through considerable severe abuse, to believe I deserved nothing more, than these abusive behaviours.

I have also worked on not feel guilty/wrong about this perfectly acceptable need/boundary.

 
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I do realise, I trigger easily and the reason for that – being very…

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‘Focus on a positive attitude’ – not wise advice for healing abuse survivors.

Posted in Uncategorized on September 2, 2014 by amildcaseofdeath

Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

Society promotes the whole ‘focus on a positive attitude’ as being the answer for anything.

Church people like to do focus on ‘count your blessings’.

Neither of these are helpful, or appropriate advice to give to people who are trying to heal severe abuse and trauma. All these do, is avoid suppress, ignore the emotions needed to process the trauma, the emotions needed to grieve. Suppression is never healthy when it comes to abuse and trauma.

How do I know this….because I did it myself for 20 years. And it made my current situation worse.

I did what society and unwise people demand – moved on, got over it, made a life, tried to never think about my past, worked hard, exercised hard, focussed on enjoying myself blah blah blah…

And all that did was suppress the deeply painful emotions and severe trauma, that needed to have been dealt with…

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I know when I have suicidal thoughts, they occur within a dissociated type state.

Posted in Uncategorized on August 25, 2014 by amildcaseofdeath

Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

People talk about suicide being selfish. On one level, I see their point. The loved ones left behind suffer, terribly. And I do not want that and I know many suicide survivors say the same.

But, I know, whenever I have ‘those’ types of thoughts, I am not capable of thinking the way I do when I am calm and rational.

I have not figured out entirely what state I am in when these dark thoughts are filling my mind. They could be due to:

1. Dissociation.

2. Emotional flashbacks.

3. Psychosis.

All these being different, but still an altered state of mind, where my thought processing is different to my normal thought/processing capacity.

I have researched suicide, and I know the emerging, latest views in the psychiatry/neuroscience world, is that suicide most often occurs when people are in an altered state of reality.

Mental health disorders such as Depression, PTSD…

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